tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post108681380389167126..comments2023-06-13T11:32:10.238-04:00Comments on Hi, My Name Is Steve, and I Was a Sex Addict: Is it still a "love triangle" if there are 4 of us?Steve the Mildly Unwell Bastardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01736453460476077687noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086890328686564162004-06-10T13:58:00.000-04:002004-06-10T13:58:00.000-04:00Nah, I am not any kind of therapist.
If my comm...Nah, I am not any kind of therapist. <br /><br />If my comments have put a damper on your blog and your therapy experience, that wasn't my intention. <br /><br />Your therapist might be a fine professional, I have no idea. Its just that therapists that don't have medical degrees sometimes can't or don't refer patients to medically degreed doctors when it is warranted. They will let you talk and talk by the hour forever and ever, amen. Spent quite a bit of time in a fruitless pursuit of clarity with a "therapist", so I may be biased.<br /><br />I just know from my experience that nothing clicked for me until I received medication and therapy.<br /><br />Certain restrictions apply. Your mileage may vary. Thank you drive through.Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00928068730677054949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086888293712493282004-06-10T13:24:00.000-04:002004-06-10T13:24:00.000-04:00OK, so I am guessing you are some kind of therapis...OK, so I am guessing you are some kind of therapist.<br /><br />I am reminded of how I feel when I talk to Doc. Deep down, I know you are right, but I enjoy what I am doing so much, and it seems so harmless, that it's hard to redirect myself. You are MUCH more astute than Doc (Dr. Phil Jr.) though.<br /><br />I think you make a good point on the red herring deal. I said so myself in my blog: I think of myself not as an addict, but as an antisocial who is trying to manipulate those around me, and who takes a kind of perverse pleasure in it.<br /><br />Having said this, I also compare the thrill of orgasm to a "drug", and describe a voracious need for this drug. I have never done anything stronger than pot, but when I hear people describe the high they get from narcotics, it sounds a lot like what I am feeling at climax.<br /><br />I imagine myself climbing a rope ladder that stretches into the clouds, and I can't see where it ends. I climb and climb, and sometimes it feels like I am making progress, sometimes not. Sometimes it feels like I am moving the wrong way. It's a little frightening not knowing where the top is, or even if there is a top. In my "sober" moments, I know I am "fucked up"; but at other times, I see no problem at all, and even enjoy what I am doing.<br /><br />Maybe I will call my MD and see about getting a new therapist...Steve the Mildly Unwell Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01736453460476077687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086881962162992392004-06-10T11:39:00.000-04:002004-06-10T11:39:00.000-04:00Here's the thing . . . no one can predict how effe...Here's the thing . . . no one can predict how effective medication will be for you. <br /><br />I don't think anyone would claim that medication would make you more mature. What it can do is even out the highs and lows that surround your compulsions to escape, to control your environment, to fuck and masturbate nonstop, to have an endless number of women vying for your attention so that you are never alone or committed. <br /><br />The sexual acting out looks like a red herring, just a really blatant symptom of something that really deserves more of your attention. <br /><br />Going cold turkey on your sexual escapades without unearthing the underlying motivator would be a little like tying a rag around a your leaky pipes without turning off the water supply. Your gonna stop the drip, but its just gonna spill out somewhere different down the line.Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00928068730677054949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086877982295200692004-06-10T10:33:00.000-04:002004-06-10T10:33:00.000-04:00Yeah, some of what you say strikes a chord with me...Yeah, some of what you say strikes a chord with me. Sometimes, when I say things, it's like I am listening to myself say them, as opposed to thinking and speaking.<br /><br />Right on with the TV, eating, and masturbation. Pretty much how I spent my childhood. I remember being bored or lonely and those things helped, especially TV (and music.) Herman's Head was a real clunker though. ;-)<br /><br />On the one hand, medication might help take the "raw edge" off my feelings. But I can't help but think that I am denying myself something I like just for the sake of denying it. On the one hand, I "can't fucking stop myself" as I say in my blog. On the other hand, I can't help but believe that I know exactly what I am doing, and I know that I could stop, and should, but out of greed or immaturity I don't. Is the medication going to make me more mature?Steve the Mildly Unwell Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01736453460476077687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086869626754686432004-06-10T08:13:00.000-04:002004-06-10T08:13:00.000-04:00Yeah, I think Dr. Phil is a quack, too. I think h...Yeah, I think Dr. Phil is a quack, too. I think he is a "Dr." of nutrition, or something like that.<br /><br />Not terribly hard to pick up on the OCD thing. I can understand your aversion to medication, and I guess you have to figure out the lesser of two evils - being medicated or being a slave to your impulses.<br /><br />It occurs to me that the sexual compulsions may have taken the place of your emotional reactions. Some people use drugs, or food, or sex to block the pain - maybe that is the case with you. Kinda goes along with the whole "mom was drunk, dad was gone" issue. Food and masturbation filled in where emotional intimacy failed you.<br /><br />In any case, your interactions seem sort of staged - like you are watching what is happening as a disinterested third party, not alot different from watching the sitcoms that seem to pop into your head. Reminds me of that show "Herman's Head". <br /><br />Probably the reason that the sex is so intriguing is that you can actually feel it, versus the rest of the time when you are pretty much disengaged. That, and the chemical rush that the climaxes give you. Not for nothing, but that is another indicator that you have some issues with seratonin, and are probably a good candidate for a low dose of meds. They help.Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00928068730677054949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086842572103158772004-06-10T00:42:00.000-04:002004-06-10T00:42:00.000-04:00Wow man, thanks! That is deep!
Medication? No f...Wow man, thanks! That is deep!<br /><br />Medication? No friggin thanks! But you make a hell of a lot more sense than Doc. <br /><br />I think I see what he is doing, though. He is trying to hold a mirror up to my face and make me look at myself. Call it the "Dr. Phil" approach. But I think Dr. Phil is a fuckin' quack.<br /><br />I never REALLY mentioned it, but I do have some OCD tendencies. What tipped you off?Steve the Mildly Unwell Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01736453460476077687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086836458750013892004-06-09T23:00:00.000-04:002004-06-09T23:00:00.000-04:00First things first - I am assuming that because yo...First things first - I am assuming that because you have added a comments option to your blog, you want input from your readers. But, you know what happens when you assume. What the hell . . . here are my impressions anyway.<br /><br />On the surface, the sexual activity doesn't seem all that out of hand, nor does the inability to commit bother me all that much. <br /><br />What DID strike me:<br />You are a child of an alcoholic.<br />You think your behavior is a problem, therefore it is.<br />You have some compulsive behaviors that you don't seem to be able to control.<br /><br />You didn't mention it, but for most people with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders) and/or tendencies toward addiction, talk therapy is only marginally effective. The blog is great, but you might want to consider medication to help control the obsessive thoughts and compulsivity so that your therapy is more effective for you.<br /><br />Very courageous of you to post your experience here. Hope you are seeing someone that is offering to do more than read your blog and curse at you and call you an addict. Personally, I would get myself to a psychiatrist, be evaluated for medication, and then continue with therapy. Trust me when I tell you that I know the road you are walking. Best of luck to you.Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00928068730677054949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7128707.post-1086816115416911912004-06-09T17:21:00.000-04:002004-06-09T17:21:00.000-04:00I feel like I should say HI Steve I'm Jenn, but I ...I feel like I should say HI Steve I'm Jenn, but I won't ok I just did. I don't think you are really a sex addict, I think you just like sex. What is wrong with that? You enjoy the thrill of the chase. You are not mean about it, but you are a player. I am going to read from the beginning maybe I am missing something. In a perfect world I would have several men at my beck and call devouring me with attention~Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08284057537399122346noreply@blogger.com