Monday, February 19, 2007

Taking the "adult" out of adultery

"Why are you calling me?"

"Merry Christmas to you too. Butthead!"

Krista is just like a rebellious teen who gets scolded and laughs it off. Did she not hear the anger in my voice? Did she forget that she agreed not to call me, except in an emergency?

"I'm serious, Krista. Don't call me."

"Issh," she sighs. "Pretty obvious what you're after."

"Don't even. Don't even. I was totally honest with you from the beginning."

"What about Tim? Were you honest with her?"


"I need to talk to you tomorrow, Krista."

"Whatever. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. Sorry you're being such a loser about it."

Tuesday, December 26, 10:14am
Steve's office

It might feel good to scream at Krista, but I know better. She knows enough to cause me major problems.

This is the nerve-wracking part, the part that comes long after the fun is over. Where the Kristas of the world are involved, I'll tell myself anything: That I'm perfectly safe, that she won't ever turn psycho, that I can disembark from this booty train whenever I want. Sometimes I'm wrong.

It's only now, weeks after we've awkwardly put our clothes back on, that restraint seems like a good idea. I can't believe I let myself associate with someone as immature as Krista. I even go so far as to read my old posts, looking for a line about a ridiculously hot body, or a perfectly sculpted set of boobs. I find nothing.

Krista was fuckable. She was there, and she was easy. Yeah, she's cute, and has a nice body, just like a million others. Unless this is the easiest rejection in the history of human interpersonal relationships, she wasn't worth it.

"Krista, Tim and I got engaged yesterday."

"Oh, cool! Great! Congratulations, Steve." Her voice sinks before the sentence is done, making the whole thing seem like a bad acting job.

"We have to stop seeing each other." Saying it out loud hurts; it makes me realize exactly how much of an asshole I was being.

"Seeing each other naked, you mean."

There's that teenager again.

"Uh, yeah. I guess so."


"I don't know what you want me to say, Steve."

"You don't have to say anything. Look, I like you, Krista. It's just, I really can't do this anymore. I shouldn't have done it in the first place."

"So it's all my fault then?"

"What? No! Neither one of us is without blame, Krista. And I'm actually starting to feel some remorse, believe it or not."

"Well, congratulations on your remorse."

"I... I, okay, thanks."


That was almost too easy. I wonder if Krista really is as aloof as she appears, or if the fun is just beginning.