Thursday, March 03, 2005

Breaking all ties

Tuesday, February 22, 3:00pm
Steve's office

Might as well get this over with.

I close my door and buzz Bonnie. "I'm gonna be on a personal call for about a half hour."

"OK, Steve."

It almost certainly won't be that long, but I prefer to underpromise and overdeliver.

I dial Lila's number. It occurs to me that this will be the last time I ever do.




Long pause. "Lila, I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to be very honest with me."



"Yeah," she says softly.

"Did you have sex with Dom?"




"I'm asking you a question!"

"You don't care. You don't give a shit about me. All you care about is your fucking girlfriend!"

"Then why am I calling you? Why am I asking you?"

"Because you're fucking jealous. Good!"

"That's mature, Lila."


"All I did was ask you a question. Why are you getting all pissy?"

"Because you make me MAD!!"

"Why? Because I won't get back together with you after you drunk dial me?"


"I really hope you didn't think I was gonna come running back to you after you fucked Dom."

"Maybe I don't WANT you back."

"Fair enough."

"Maybe I DID fuck Dom. And maybe his DICK is bigger than yours!"

"Just answer me. DID you do it or not?"


Time to pull out the big guns.

"I know you did. He already told me, Lila." Of course, he didn't, but I need to find out what really happened. Oh yeah, and I've probably just cock-blocked him with Lila for the rest of his life. He he he....

She whimpers softly. "I feel like such a fucking slut."

"I can't fucking believe you. You hurt me so much, Lila. I TOLD you how much it would hurt me, and then-"

"STOP! I feel guilty enough!" she says through her tears.

"Lila, don't ever speak to me again. I'm serious."

"Maybe I'll just fucking kill myself. Then I won't annoy you anymore."

"Don't be an idiot, Lila."

"FINE. WHATEVER. GO TO HELL!" she screams, sobbing.