Thursday, August 12, 2004

Cockblocked by the Lawnmower Man

Thanks, all, for your kind birthday wishes. And now that it's almost Christmas, I'm ready to tell you what I did on my birthday.

I walk into the office, and there is a card on my desk with everyone's signature on it. Julie the lawyer even signed it, with a little heart next to her name. Aww.

There's a little post-it stuck to the outside of the card: CAKE IN CONFERENCE ROOM AT 1:00.

Lila walks into my office and hands me a fax. I almost fall out of my chair.

She is wearing a pale green micro-miniskirt. It's tight enough to make out the crack in her ass, and I am almost positive she has no underwear on.

"Happy birthday, Steve," she smiles. It's Lila's "work voice".

"Thanks, Lila!" STEVE'S "work voice".

"Steve," she whispers. "Can we go to your house at lunch?"

"At lunch? How about after work-"

She shakes her head no. "Pleeeease?"

"It's dangerous," I say.

"I know," she says breathily.

"OK. Meet me at the library at 10 after 12."


No one from the office hangs out at a public library, of course, so it's a good meeting place, but we don't usually use it because it's too close, only about a block away. It's just that, at noontime, Starbucks might be a little busy, so I feel the library will be safer.

11:00am. Cell phone. I don't recognize the number.

"This is Steve."

"Hi, Steve. It's Taylor."

"Oh! Hey, Taylor."

I never ask girls where they got my number. It sounds kind of standoffish. It's more fun to find out on my own, anyway. And besides, I know exactly where she got it: Kelly. Thanks a lot, Kel, BTW.

"I just wanted to say happy birthday!!" she says.

"THANK you, Taylor! That's really sweet!"

"And thanks for a nice evening the other night. I had fun!"

"Yeah, me too. How were you the next morning," I say.

Kelly already told me that Taylor was in agony. But I like hearing two peoples' takes on the same issue: You'd be amazed at how much extra information you get sometimes.

"Ugh," she says. "I was REALLY sore. I went to the gym and stayed in the whirlpool for about two hours!"

We laugh.

"So, are you free for a drink tonight?"

Hmmm. Kelly is out, and Taylor wants to hang. Wonder if Rob is coming. I also wonder if I want to get between Kelly and Taylor. I'm thinking not. I like the idea of breaking Taylor in, though. I bet that, if I do her like I did the other night, 4 or 5 more times, she would loosen up nicely. And there is NOTHING hotter than a newly-loosened up vagina. It's like wearing new shoes for the 4th or 5th time, when they are just starting to break in.

"I've got this thing tonight," I say. "Let me know where you guys will be and I'll try to be there."

I said "you guys" to find out who else is going to be there. If it's just her, she will probably correct me.

"Not sure yet," she says. She didn't let me know who was going to be with her. Well played, I must say.

"Ok, give me a call later," I say.

Depending on how the stag goes, and who is with Taylor, I might meet her if she calls.

I pick up Lila at 12:10 and we go to my house.

"Let's go around to the back yard," she says.



We walk around to the back of the house. There is a brand new gazebo set up there.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I say. Lila bursts out laughing.

"Do you like your present?" she says.

"What? You got me a GAZEBO?"

She nods. "I had it installed right after you went to work this morning."

"LILA! I'm paying you for it. That's it. It's TOO MUCH!"

"I am NOT taking your money," she says, glaring.

We walk into the gazebo. My next-door neighbor is on his tractor, mowing. The scent of freshly-cut grass hangs in the air.

The gazebo is beautiful: A nice, high roof, and it's about 10 or 12 feet in diameter. It's an "open air" model: No walls, just rails. There are two wooden loveseats set up inside. We sit on one of them.

I'm figuring this must have cost Lila at least $500. "How did you pay for this," I say.

"I work."

"You do?"

She nods. "My boss is really hot, too." She kisses me. I glance down at her skirt. I am panting.

"Your mother has been watching your bank account," I say. "Didn't she ask what you were taking all the money out for?"

"I DIDN'T take the money out," she says.


"I don't direct deposit my whole check," she says. "I only do 80%. Then I get a check for the rest."

"OHHHHHH! And you cash the check..."

"And hide the money in my room."

"And then you take out a little money every once in a while so your mom doesn't get suspicious. You are CLEVER!"

"I saved my money all summer. I'm proud of myself!"

"You didn't have to..."

"That's why I volunteered for the file room project, because I didn't think I'd have enough to pay for the gazebo."

This girl spent a thousand dollars on my birthday presents. So much for me having the upper hand.

"Baby, you did that for me? But now I feel-" I say.

"Shhh! Just say 'thank you', baby."

"But you-"

"SHHHH!! Say 'thank you, Lila'."

"Thank you, Lila. You are so sweet."

She plants her lips warmly on mine. She leans back and pulls her skirt up a little. She is wearing a thong. Guess she had underwear on, after all.

She slips two fingers underneath the thong and pulls it aside, revealing a small patch of brown hair. She pulls the thong tight. Her eyes close; she bites her lip.

My neighbor is still mowing. I run my hand over the front of my pants. I am raging. "We should probably go inside," I say.

We don't make it to the bedroom. She pulls her skirt up, just turns it inside out, basically, and flings herself into a padded kitchen chair. She slides her thong down.

I drop my pants. "aaaaah," she coos as I enter her. She slowly, gracefully crosses her legs around my back and locks her ankles together. I can feel my scrotum slapping against her as we fuck.

I pull out of her, then freeze for a long moment before plunging urgently back into her again. I pull out again. Her opening is huge, yawning. I slide into her again.

"I wanted you to fuck me in the gazebo," she says. "Your fucking neighbor..."

"Next time," I say.

She grabs my cock and strokes it in slow circles. It's basically how she masturbates herself.

"Are you gonna blow your big load in my pussy?" she says. "Do you love my pussy? Do you love how wet I am for you?"

"Uh-huh....." I am just about to blow. I am pounding away at her, nice and hard.

I explode inside her. She rubs me until the last of the contractions subside.

"You're gonna drown me one day," she says.