"May I help you?" "No thanks, just fucking."

"I WANT YOUR BIG FAT COCK IN ME."

I'm at my desk. It's 10:30am, Wednesday the 11th. Lila is sending triple-X rated messages to my BlackBerry while I talk on the phone.

I AM GOING TO BEND YOU OVER AND RAM IT SO FAR INSIDE YOU, I type.

WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, she says.

AND?

DREAMED THAT YOU WERE FUCKING ME IN THE GAZEBO

YOU AND THAT FUCKING GAZEBO, I say.

It takes a minute or two to type a message on our respective devices. Each time I send one, my pulse races as I wait for her reply. I can feel my breathing quicken as my BlackBerry buzzes again.

GONNA FUCK YOU SOOOOO GOOD. TAKE OFF ALL MY CLOTHES...

An IM window opens on my computer. This is dangerous as all hell. If someone walks by...

LILA: ...AND GET YOU TOTALLY NAKED TOO
STEVE: AND THEN WHAT
LILA: AND LET YOU FUCK ME UP THE ASS
LILA: AND BLOW A HUGE FUCKING LOAD ALL OVER ME
STEVE: FUCKING-A LILA
STEVE: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME
LILA: AND I DON'T CARE IF YOUR NEIGHBOR IS WATCHING
STEVE: YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NOT SEEN MY NEIGHBOR
LILA: LOL

I close the IM window.

I stand up and walk to my doorway. My cock is standing straight out, as if I were carrying a hair dryer in my pants. I adjust it so it's not quite so obvious.

"Lila, I need you for a minute," I call out the door.

I see her close the IM window. Good girl.

She stands in my doorway. She is breathing heavily. "mm-hmm?" she says, straightening her skirt.

"Any way you could get my drycleaning at 3 today?"

"Sure, Steve."

"Library, ten after 3?" I whisper.

"mmhmm," she nods.

2:30. I poke my head into Ross's office. He's been a little calmer lately. "I'm headed off to lunch, Ross. See ya in about an hour."

"OK, Steve."

I choke down a ham sandwich from the deli down the street. "You look like YOU'RE in a hurry," my friend behind the counter says.

3:10. I pull in to the library and drive to the back of the parking lot. Lila is sitting under a tree, typing a message on her phone.

My BlackBerry goes off. WHERE ARE YOU? it says.

She runs up to my car and climbs in. She kisses me hard. "Where the fuck WERE you?"

I look at my car clock. It's 3:12. "Horny much?" I ask.

"Where are we going," she says.

I leave the parking lot and drive 2 miles south. There is a little store called Yesterday's that was destroyed by fire a few months ago. They are fighting like mad with the insurance company (yeah, they are one of our clients) to get us to pay for the damage. Lawyers are involved. Needless to say, no work is getting done, and none WILL be done until it's all sorted out. It could take a year.

Yesterday's is set on the corner of a fairly busy street and a desolate one-way road. Immediately behind the store, at the end of a narrow driveway, is a carport surrounded by tall trees on two sides. Between the trees and the building, the carport is drowned in shadow; if you aren't looking for it, you'll probably miss it.

The carport caught my attention a few weeks ago. I kept it in the back of my mind for just this type of occasion.

Guys, let this be a lesson to you: ALWAYS have one or two possible "fuck places" in mind, should you need them. Look around as you drive to work; scope out possible sites. Pull into parking lots. Use your imagination. The last thing you want to say with a horny girl in your passenger seat is, "OK, honey, where to?"

We pull into the carport. Her skirt is off before I kill the engine. I furiously work my belt as I hear her panties whisper down her legs.

She grabs me by the back of the neck. "I am SO fucking horny for you right now," she says, her voice thick with lust. I can smell her, hot, wet and musky. She straddles me; I move my seat back. She grabs my cock and works it back and forth over her "petals", until I pop into her. She slides her hips slowly towards me. I watch in slow motion as my shaft disappears into her.

She is grinding her hips against me now, front to back; I close my eyes and focus on the tight grip of her vagina. She grabs the head rest behind me and pulls herself closer, so her tits are right in my face. It would be a little nicer if her shirt was off, though...

"FUCK, lover," she coos in my ear, "you make me so FUCKING horny...."

"Yeah?" I manage.

"You were making me wet when you were sending me those messages," she says.

"Were you trying to drive me crazy?" I say. I grab her ass and squeeze. It's firm and round, like a melon in my hand.

"mmhmmm," she purrs. She is thrusting harder now, her hips bouncing straight up and down against mine.

Her eyes squeeze shut. She stops and leans her head back, inhaling sharply through her teeth. She kisses my neck. "Oh god I'm gonna come...I'm gonna come, oh holyfuckingshitI'mgonnacome....."

She presses her hips violently against mine; I can feel her pussy spasming wildly. The kiss becomes a bite. Exquisite pain shoots into the flesh of my shoulder and up my neck.

I really want to turn her around and get on top of her, but it's hard to maneuver around in my car. Gotta make the best of it. I grab the steering wheel behind her and start thrusting deeply. I run my hand over the small of her back, just where the soft flesh of her ass begins. My hand goes a little lower now, my fingers brushing lightly over her asshole.

I look down at my cock as it plunges into her, wet and slimy, and I am gone. I unleash an ocean of cum.

Another mess. I am keeping the ArmorAll people in business lately.

**********

4:00. Phone. Kelly.

"What do you think about the Seaside Inn," she says.

"Beautiful. Overpriced. It's $400 a night, I think," I say. Damn beachfront properties are a ripoff.

"Well how about me and you have a little overpriced fun this Saturday night?"

"What's the occasion?"

"I had a GREAT conference. Got my award, and a bonus!" she says. "I broke a sales record! I'm celebrating!"

"Hmmmm, well, ok, but with your newfound riches, I'd say it should be your treat."

"Ok, cheapo!"

"Hey, Kel."

"What."

"Congratulations. I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you, Steve!"

"Come over for a drink tonight," I say.

"Mmmm, I am sooo busy trying to catch up...ok, just a quick one."

"I'll pick you up at the office at 7:00?"

"OK."

7:00. The parking lot is completely empty except for Kelly's nondescript Honda Accord. Why the hell doesn't she buy a new car?

She hops into the car, her hair pulled back into a sloppy bun. She looks tired. "Thanks babe," she says, kissing me. "I needed a break."

We stop at the package store. I run in and buy a bottle of Moet.

Back in the car. Kelly is smiling. "My boss just called me," she says. "I have a report due tomorrow. I totally forgot."

"YOU forgot a report?" I say.

"I totally spaced! I'm working on no sleep..."

Kelly doesn't forget anything. I wonder what she is hiding. "You need to go back?"

"mm-hmm."

Looks like a porn festival at the Steverino house tonight.