Tuesday, December 07, 2004

He says, she says, volume III

Here's our latest question. As you read the replies, keep in mind that Ari and I did NOT see each other's answers when we wrote our own. The similarities are pretty eerie...

Keep those questions coming guys!

Dear Steve and Ari:

Gotta question for ya: What steps are necessary to continue dating women without ending up in a relationship? I.e. what pitfalls should be avoided at all costs to avoid giving the impression that you're ready to become serious with someone?

Dating Fool


Well Foolish;

you've not given us much to go on here so I'm flyin' blind. Not sure how long you've been half assed dating this poor girl but here are my suggestions:

1. Keep this girl away from your parents and their home {nothing says long term like your family and familial home}
2. Keep the chatter away from things like "one day" and "I can see myself"
3. Don't get into the habit of staying the night post-sex {if I were you I'd leave every time}
4. Be a man, not a jackass, and tell her openly you aren't exclusive.

Hope these were helpful - I can't help but think you are somewhat of an ass for wasting your time and hers though.


If you play your cards right, you can keep her at arm's length, continue to nail her, and avoid all (most) ugly confrontations, until she dumps you and you move on to the next one.

Make sure you set boundaries. Don't let her sleep over your house. Don't sleep over hers. If she says, "I love you," let her know that you are really flattered, but you are just not in a place to reciprocate right now.

Manage her expectations. Let her know early on that you are not looking for a commitment, but don't keep reminding her. If you tell her once, your position stands until you reverse it.

Manage your OWN expectations, too. Don't expect this to last forever. It's probably going to end, and end badly. But if you are truly not ready for commitment, it's going to happen.