Monday, May 09, 2005

Steve and Lila's phone call conclusion, non-cliffhangered edition

Hey guys, before I forget, if ANYBODY reading this has a membership to, please e-mail me. I need a favor...


"So did you ever see him again after that night?"

"I didn't SEE him, but.."

"You talked to him?"

"He called me a few times. He asked me to go away with him for the weekend once, to some cottage he was renting."

I remember that. It wasn't too long ago.

"So why didn't you go?"

"Ste-eve! I'm not going away with him! He's not my boyfriend!"

"Well, I mean, you did have sex with him, so-"

"Yeah, but he's like FORTY! It would look like I was dating my father."

"I didn't need that visual."

She sighs. "So....don't you think I get jealous too?"

"Jealous of what?"

"Of you and your perfect girlfriend," she says, mockingly. "She's smarter than me, she's probably prettier than me..."

"Lila. I wouldn't EVER worry about attractiveness if I were you."

"I get SO fucking jealous."

"So the idea of me with her? That doesn't... get you off somehow, like it does me?"

"NO! It pisses me off! It makes me wanna beat the shit out of her!"

Actually, I could arrange that. And I'm pretty sure this chick would supply the Jell-o.

"Why her? Why not me?"

"Because I love you."

I freeze for a moment and let those words echo in my head. It's been a very long time since I've heard her say that, and hearing it again makes my stomach leap.

Sooner or later, I am going to have to sort out all the shit between Lila and me. We never really "resolved" our relationship together; I just kind of faded away, like I usually do.

I dated her for almost a year, which I never did with anyone, and then carelessly discarded her, like I ALWAYS did. The breakup didn't fit the relationship, and as a result I am not sure how I feel about her now.

"I get this idea that you two have this perfect life, that you're this perfect couple, like she's reading Redbook and Cosmo and learning how to be this perfect girlfriend."

"It's not perfect, Lila."

"And I get mad because I know I'll never be that perfect."

"Do you ever feel like it was perfect with us? When we were together?"

"Remember the first night I moved into my apartment with Sophie, and you slept over?"


"We didn't do anything special, we just hung out together, and talked all night, and then went to bed early..."

"Yep, I remember."

"And Sophie was there, and we were all joking around and laughing."

"Yeah, that was a good night."

"I think about that night all the time," she says. "It was going SO good with us for a while. I don't know what happened."

"I think we have to-"

"Steve, I gotta go," she says, her voice breaking. "A bunch of people are waiting for the phone."