Mending busting fences

Thursday, February 17, 9:47pm

My phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Her voice is barely audible.

"Hey, Lila."

"How are you."

"OK, how are you?"

"Alright."

"You sound like you're about to cry."

"DON'T! You're gonna MAKE me cry!"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I'm ruining everything. I'm sure you think I'm a fuckin' psycho with the way I've been acting."

"No I don't."

"Steve. I call you screaming every freakin' night. You think I'm a psycho."

"I think you're hurt."

"Are YOU?"

"What kind of question is that? Of COURSE I'm hurt that it didn't work out!"

"No you're not."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because YOU broke up with ME. And then you were with someone right away."

"That's how guys deal with breakups."

"That really hurt me. That you were with someone else right after."

"I know."

"I don't like thinking of you with another ..... chick."

"Why?"

"I get jealous. I have this - nightmare, but it's like a daydream. It's like a nightmare when I'm awake."

"Your mind wanders?"

"Yeah. I keep thinking that I'm gonna find out that you're screwing one of my girlfriends or something. Or my mother."

"Your MOTHER?"

"Yeah."

"Lila!"

"So you mean you would never have sex with one of my friends?"

"No."

"What if I had sex with one of YOUR friends?"

"That would really, really hurt me."

"Why?"

"Because I would get jealous. It would be hard to see you with someone so close to me."

"Oh."

"Would you ever do that to me?"

"I just feel like you don't care. I feel like you're NOT jealous, like you DON'T care what I do."

"I DO care, Lila. I want to be close to you - I tell you that all the time."

"I know."

Long pause. "Hey," I say, finally.

"What."

"It's nice talking to you."

"You too."

"Can I call you this weekend?"

"You mean STACY isn't gonna get pissed if you call me?"

"You mean Stephanie?"

"Whatever."

"She knows I want to be your friend."

"I'll call you next week. It's just hard talking to you sometimes."

I feel good that Lila and I actually had a civil conversation.

**********

Monday, February 21, 8:47AM
Steve's office

"Guess who I ran into last night?" Dom asks.

"Who?"

"Lila."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! I think she was.... hitting on me."