Friday, July 09, 2004

Steve's first two-and-a-half-some, part III

I hate sleeping in the same bed with a girl. I can never GET to sleep, for one thing; I feel like, to let myself drift off into "sweet repose", as they say, I have to trust her completely, and I never do.

But for some reason, I have now slept in the same bed with Kelly twice, and I have no trouble at all falling asleep. True love? Nah, it probably means she is the worst possible person I could be with...."only trouble is interesting," as my English professor used to say....

After screwing, Kelly and I talked for a while. Pretty awkward, isn't it, how I am slapping her ass (leaving welts) and calling her a "bitch" one minute, then laying down next to her and whispering in hushed tones the next?

I wake up several hours later with the sensation that someone is on the bed. The covers are being pulled. I roll over and open my eyes.

Kelly and Taylor are making out on the edge of the bed.

Ho-leee shit.

I am reminded of the scene in "American Pie" in which Jason Biggs sees Shannon Elizabeth pleasuring herself on his bed. He stands outside his door for a long moment, trying to figure out exactly what to say, and even practices saying it. ("Looks like you could use an extra hand!") Yeah, if I say the wrong thing, I could totally fuck this up.

But I ain't no Jason Biggs.

"Hey, can you girls move over," I say, finally. "I can't see out the window".

"TOLD you he was gonna wake up," Kelly said, without turning around. Taylor giggles.

"You BETTER not fucking tell Rob," Taylor says, smiling.

"He won't," Kelly says.

"Every deal has its price," I say.

"I wouldn't mind watching you fuck him again," Taylor says, staring at Kelly. "But I know you guys just did it, so..."

AGAIN?! What does she mean, AGAIN? Was she watching us the first time?!

Kelly puts her hand inside the leg of my boxers. "TOTALLY fucking hard," she says, still not looking at me. "He would fuck me all night long if I let him."

"And I'll prove it, too," I say, sitting up and kissing her neck. Kelly brushes me away with her hand.

She pulls my boxers down and guides me with her hand so that my legs are hanging over the side of the bed. Then she climbs on top of me and starts to ride me, facing Taylor, her back to me.

Taylor helps Kelly off with her night shirt, then starts fondling her tits. Kelly grabs Taylor's head and mashes their lips together.

"Fuuuuck," Kelly says, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. It looks a lot like the move Lila does. I watch intently as her ass bobs rhythmically up and down on my shaft.

Taylor is still wearing a bikini top; Kelly pulls it up in the front and rubs her tongue over her right nipple. Her tongue is broad and flat; her touch is exquisite, gentle and tender. Yeah, she's done this before.

I wonder if she's bi? Or gay? Maybe she is a lesbian, and she's just using me to replace her vibrator.

Taylor takes two fingers and inserts them slowly into Kelly's mouth. Then she pulls them out and fingers Kelly's clit while she rides me.

MAN. I cannot fucking take it. My cock is so hard, it feels like it is going to explode.
Suddenly, I am about to come.

I grab Kelly's thighs and push up, so she will stop riding me. I squeeze my abs with all my might. This is gonna be close.

"What?" says Taylor.

"He's trying to keep from coming," says Kelly.

The orgasm passes. I release her, and she starts riding me, even harder than before. Taylor and Kelly are sucking face big time. I can see their toungues mingling, can hear their smacking and slurping. The orgasm again. SHIT-

"My god I am gonna fucking come," I manage.

"Do you want him to come in your face," Kelly says.

Taylor doesn't answer. She looks at Kelly like a frightened puppy.

"It's ok," Kelly says, as if speaking to a child. "Do it!" She pushes down on Taylor's shoulder; Taylor kneels in front of me. Kelly jumps off me and starts to rub me with her hand.

I blow my load. It's a direct hit, all over Taylor's face. I shoot again; it goes in Taylor's mouth. She gags audibly. She gags again.

Fuck. She's gonna puke; I can hear it. She runs to the bathroom.

Kelly and I sit there, quietly, as we listen to Taylor cough and gag.

Then Kelly starts laughing. Fucking LAUGHING!

I'm beginning to think this chick is insane.

7:30 the next morning. We're all sitting around, eating pancakes. Rob walks in, looking sick. "Steve, I need to speak to you for a second."

Ah, fuck.

"Sure, Rob." By any chance, is this about how I blew a load in your girl's face?

He leads me outside to the deck. If he knows about what happened, there's a good chance he's going to hit me.

"Is Kelly gay?"


"IS KELLY GAY!" he says, in a stage whisper.

"Fuck, Rob! Of course not! She's with me, right?!?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But Taylor is gay."

"You mean BI."

"WHATEVER. She likes chicks. Sometimes she lets me watch, so I put up with it. But I saw the way she was looking at Kelly, and the way Kelly was looking at better keep your eye on Kelly."

You know, some people really piss me off. Especially people who get whip-dick during strip poker games.

"Hey Rob. If I need help with chicks, you'll be the first one I'll call. OK?"

"Steve, listen. Taylor was gone for a while last night. I woke up; she wasn't there."

OH SHIT. Looks like we almost got caught. THAT would have been a scene!

"You woke up? Did you look for her?" I ask.

"I was in NO condition. But I'm sure she disappeared."

"Disappeared? I'll call Mulder and Scully."

"I'm SERIOUS, Steve. Just talk to Kelly, ok? I SWEAR there is something going on between those two."

Those two? No. Those two and ME? YES!

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rob, yeah!"

What a fucking moron. Then again, he did figure out most of what was happening. Minus the facial, of course.

We fly kites on the beach for awhile, then leave for home. I load up the car and go to get Kelly. She is talking to Taylor, with Rob looking on intently.

"They want to hang out with us again," says Kelly. "I took Taylor's number."

"Oh yeah, cool!" I say. I look at Taylor. She seems ok, now.

Rob hugs me. "Let's do this again soon, Stevie Wonder. I don't wanna wait a year before I see you again."

"OK, man."

On the way home, I really let Kelly have it.

"Kelly, you should be ashamed of yourself. A fucking FACIAL? Come on!"

"What? I'M not the one who blew the load in her mouth! That was YOU!"

"Yeah, Kelly. You had nothing to do with it."

"She's fine! She wants to see us again!"

"You sure?"


"Kelly, she was GAGGING! She obviously didn't want to do that."

"So why did you do it?"

"I wasn't exactly in a position for critical analysis," I say.

"Me neither," she says.

"You weren't about to blow a load," I say.

She sighs sarcastically. "ALLLL Kelly's fault. Always Kelly's fault."

"You were LAUGHING," I shout. "You fucking LAUGHED at her while she was gagging!"

"It sounded FUNNY!"

I know I am to blame for a good bit of what happened. I saw that Taylor was a little apprehensive, and I did it anyway. I am just as responsible for this as Kelly. But I just keep going back in my mind to that image of Kelly giggling while Taylor puked.

"Shit. You know what?" I say. "You're just fucking INSANE. You're not right in the head!"

"And you know what you are?" she says, smiling broadly, flickering her blue eyes.


"Bitter! You're ANGRY that you can't dominate me. You can't CONTROL me. And you HATE it!!"

"Yeah, Kelly. I'm the one with the problem here."

I'm beginning to wonder if Kelly is worth the trouble.