I make Lila an offer she must refuse

"Lila, I need to see you at 2:30 for 15 minutes"

"What about?"

"Nothing important." I always say that. Ross was right; it is better to have an employee on their toes, not knowing what to expect.

So she comes into my office, and I tell her to sit down. She got a little pale.

"Ross spoke to me about you today."

"What did I do?"

"He's all high on this idea of a live receptionist. He wants you here full-time. He's willing to give you a raise."

"What? That's AWESOME!"

"Wait," I said. "Remember that file purge you did last year, that you hated so much?"

"Ugh. Yes. You mean I would have to do THAT again?"

"Not exactly. Remember that acquisition I was working on? Well, when that is done, in about 2-3 weeks, we are going to have a file MERGE, which is harder than a purge, which will take a month or so."

"I HATE that kinda shit."

"I know. I need to know by tomorrow, though...."

"Uh. Ok, I'll take it."

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!

"COOL! I'll call HR and have them start the paperwork! I recommend you go on the health insurance. It's all company paid, so you might as well. Oh, and you should start a 401(k) too."

This is bad news. It's gonna be a LLLOOOOOOOOOONG summer.