Friday, June 04, 2004

Plotting and scheming

So, Lila calls me early this morning. It seems her mother has to work 4 hours tomorrow morning (8-12).

Normally, spending the night with Lila is difficult or impossible, because none of Lila's friends, or their parents, drive a car like mine. And if her mother sees a BMW pull up in front of the house to drop her off (with a young, handsome, sunglass-clad cat like me behind the wheel ;-) ) she would know that something was up.

BUT, when her mother isn't HOME to see who is dropping her off, that is another story altogether! So Lila is begging me to take her clothes shopping tonight, then spend the night at my house, or somewhere else. Like I said, I will benefit big time from any overnight dates.

First, I had to set her straight. "Look," I said. "We are going to be in the same office a lot of the time this summer. We gotta be very careful. And I want you to spend time with your friends and family this summer too - I have a lot going on, you know."


"I want to be with you. I just want to keep it the way it is. OK?" I said.

"yeah," she said, very silently. Sounded like she was going to cry. Good. That means she gets it. It might actually be a good summer, if I can keep her at arm's length.

"So I asked my mother if I could go shopping for work clothes with my girlfriend Michelle tonight," she said. "And I said, 'since Michelle lives so far away, can I just stay over there?'"


"She said yes! But the only problem is, my credit card is almost maxed, and mom doesn't have any money to loan me. So, if I come home with a pile of new clothes....."

"She's gonna wonder who your sugar daddy is."

She laughed.

"OK," I said. Come to work today. I will give you an advance on your salary, and when you start working full-time, you can pay it back out of your paycheck, so many dollars a week. You will have to sign an agreement that you will pay the money back."


"Then, if your mother wants to know where the money came from, you can just show her that agreement. And tell her that you persuaded me, using oral sex, to give it to you."

"hehehehehe. You are bad, baby...." She gets turned on when we get into all this plotting and scheming.

"How much are you giving me?"

"If it's $500 or over, Ross has to sign it. So how's $450?"


"If you need more, I'll just pay for a few things. Your mother isn't going to add up the receipts. As a matter of fact, let me keep all the receipts. If we are going to be shopping 60 miles away, we don't want her to see where you were."

"Where are we going??"

"You'll find out. But bring a toothbrush."

"And what else?"

"NOTHING. I'll buy you something nice to wear to bed at the mall."

"OK baby...." she sounded way hot and bothered now. Actually, I wasn't doing too bad myself, for a guy who had just whacked off 2 hours before.

So I get to work, a little late, and a blue Honda pulls up next to me in the parking lot. The girl rolls down her window, and she looks just like a young Christina Applegate (HOT Christina Applegate, before she cut her hair and got married).

"Can you give me directions to the phone company," she said.

"The phone company? Yeah! You go out of the parking lot..."


"Then you make a left, and it's about a mile up, on your right."

Definitely couldn't let a girl like that slip away without trying something.

"So, are you applying for a job?"

"No," she laughed, "paying my bill."

"Procrastinating, huh?"


I looked in her window - her car was a disaster.

"Me too. Looks like you clean your car about as often as I do."

" got me. But, it looks like you clean up nice for work." Was she hitting on me???

"I do what I can. My name is Steve." I shook her hand (one firm shake - that is the best way. I hate these guys who shake violently, like they are whacking you off).

"I'm Kelly," she said.

"So, Kelly, are you from around here?"

"Yeah, I live on the other side of town. And if you're working here, I guess you live nearby."

"Yeah, 15 minutes away or so. You're a really pretty girl, you know that?"

She giggled and rolled her eyes. I think she was blushing. Yeah, she was definitely into me. "I just rolled outta bed," she said.

Wonder what she looks like when she rolls INTO bed.

"So I'm sure you clean up REALLY well then," I said. A callback joke, the comedians call it.


"I'd love to buy you a drink tonight." PLEASE don't be a rules girl!

Oh SHIT!!! I have plans with Lila tonight!! Overnight plans! FUCK!!! What if she says 'yes'?

I am reminded of an episode of "The Brady Bunch," in which Peter has dates with two girls at the same time, and he has to keep changing clothes as he rushes from one girl to the other.

"How 'bout next week? I'm going out with the girls tonight. Bachelorette party," she said.

"So when are you getting married?" He he he he....

"Yeah, right," she said. "I haven't been on a date in months!"

"Really? Well, let me take care of that." I took out my BlackBerry. There was a message on there.


Lila's got to cool it with that shit.

I was disoriented for a moment. Thinking about a blow job from a hot teenager will do that to you. "So, how's next Wednesday," I said, finally.

"OK!!" She looked excited. "Let me give you my number!" She leaned over to get a piece of paper. Her shirt pulled tight against her body: Big, nice tits, no bra. Definitely gotta see her naked.

She handed me her number. "Ok, well, it's great to meet you! I'll talk to you next week!"

"Good deal!"

I ran in to the office. Do I feel another hot streak coming on? If it keeps up like this, it's going to be the best summer ever.