Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Is it still a "love triangle" if there are 4 of us?

So Julie calls me this morning around 9:00. "How's 12:00 for lunch today," she says.

"Guess I'm not meeting with Jack."

"Well, I could arrange that....but his hair is not as shiny as mine."

"Oh yeah! Ok, 12 is good."

Julie and I had a great lunch together. She is a very interesting person. Her mom is Korean; her dad is Italian. They met while her dad was in the service. Her 34th birthday is next week, so she IS older than me, by about 5 months.

She doesn't get along well with her mother; her mom, evidently, wanted her to marry this son of a couple her parents know, who is now with NASA and making 300k a year. "You see?" Her mother screams at her. "That boy very rich, very powerful now! That could be you with him!"

"But mom," Julie says. "He's got bad breath, and he doesn't even own a TV!"

"Wachoo need TV for," her mother says.

I got a really good look at Julie. Her hair is incredible - a deep, rich black and as shiny as glass. It looks literally like no hair is out of place. And I love "mixed" Asian girls' eyes. They are a bit slanted, but big and brown at the same time.

She seemed really interested in what I had to say. She wanted to know all about my childhood, where I grew up, what I liked to do as a kid.

"So how did you spend your time as a youngster," she says.

Oh, that's easy. Eating. And jerking off. A lot. Oh, and I usually thought about girls just like you when I did it.

"Oh, you know, studying and spending time at home. I was not a very active kid, unfortunately, but I did take my schoolwork really seriously."

"What was your favorite subject?"

"Math and science, for sure...."

"How did you get along with your parents?"

What, am I in therapy with her now? WTF?!

"Have you ever been married," she says, with a sidelong glance.

"No. Engaged. It didn't end well, I'm afraid."

"mmmmmm". She picks at her Fettucine Alfredo.

Well? What is she waiting for?? Doesn't she know the game, "I'll show you mine, you show me yours"?



"You said you wanted to talk to me before our date. Our SECOND date. And I don't think it was just about some geeky rocket scientist."

"I was supposed to be married," she says haltingly. "But the guy turned out to be a fucking dick."

I try not to change my expression when I hear something shocking. Not sure how well I did there. She had never sworn at all since I had known her, not even a "hell" or a "damn".

I was about to learn Julie's elusive dating history! Remember, this is a great mystery in the office...

"His name is Andy. He's in the service, stationed in Turkey. Evidently, he's sleeping with one of his fellow...... SOLDIERS," she sneers.

"Got a picture?"

"Why? You like men in uniform?"


But she reaches into her bag, and pulls out her wallet. "Here he is." It looks like a Prada bag, BTW.

The guy seemed normal enough, about 6' tall, boyish face, big smile. He could have been your next door neighbor.

I look at Julie's hands. No rings anywhere.

"Did he ask you to marry him?"

She nods. Her eyes start to water. Better get off this topic quick.

OK, so I guess Julie is not gay.

Sometimes I think my behavior is less like an addict and more like an antisocial. An addict, when he is jonesing, doesn't care who he runs over to get what he wants. But I'm not jonesing, not this minute, and I am really enjoying The give and take, trying to figure her out, trying to impress her, wondering if I have a chance.

The game is the best analogy I can come up with. I am PLAYING with Julie. I am PLAYING with Lila. I am PLAYING with Kelly. I don't truly care about any of them, in my heart of hearts.

I should feel awful about what I am trying to do. I am trying to seduce her, trying to get her into bed for my own selfish desires. She's been torn apart by a cheating boyfriend. Sounds like she hasn't been in too many serious relationships, either, so that makes it even worse. Shouldn't I want to take it easy on her? Yeah, I definitely should.

And yet, as she walks to the bathroom, I can't help but stare at her tight little ass and wonder what color panties she is wearing.

I can't wait to find out.

Oh, by the way, looks like I am getting that liaison job. HR should be sending me an offer letter soon.

When I got back to the office, I checked the Neiman Marcus catalog. Yep, it was a Prada bag. NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS!!


The rumors are worse than I suspected at the office. EVERYONE is asking me how my new "GF" is. I keep telling them that there's nothing to tell....yet. 'Yeah, she's beautiful.' 'Yeah, I like her.' 'We'll just wait and see what happens,' I tell them.

Lila heard all about it, just like I thought she would. She made a point of avoiding eye contact when I came in.

Ten minutes later, she stomps into my office, throws a ten-page fax at me, and goes back to her desk. Paper rains down all over.

I wait five minutes for her to cool down. Then I buzz her. "Lila, I need to see you in my office, please," I say.

She stomps in again, and throws herself into a chair, folding her arms and pouting. I close the door.

"I never got a chance to say I'm sorry," I say. "I was a major dickhead, I know. You are a good person and you don't deserve that. And, I just want you to know, there is NOTHING going on with me and Julie."

"I heard she was fucking all over you all night long. And you were loving it!"

"We were talking, Lila. She touched my arm a few times, for Christ's sake."

"I know you. You fucked her. Didn't you!"

"No! I didn't even kiss her, Lila!" Well, that was almost true.

She bites her lip and closes her eyes. It's almost the face she makes during sex, I think. She unfolds her arms. "I just....I.... this is sooo hard for me," she says. "When we were together, I wanted to be with you all the time. I felt like, that we were.... meant to be together. We get along so well! I just... didn't want to be with ANYONE else, ever. And I KNOW that you wanted to go slow, but, I....just couldn't. But now I feel like I'd rather be with you and go slow than not be with you."


"Are you sure," I ask.

"I don't know," she says.

"No matter what happens, I want you to know I will always be there for you," I say. "If there is anything I can do for you, no matter what...." I don't like to say, "I'll always be your friend". It's too cliche'd.


"And I just want you to know that, whatever is wrong with me, it's personal...looking at you, how great you are, sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I should be in love with you....

Oh, man..did I just say that? Lila's eyes suddenly get huge.

....I can't guarantee you that I'll ever get over what is bothering me. But I can tell you that I really, really liked things the way they were. And if you want to go back to that..."

"OK, I'll think about it," she says.

I am reminded of what Confuscious says: "Be careful what you wish for: You might get it." Fucking two women in the same office is highly dangerous. Not sure I could pull it off, and if I can't, I'd probably lose both. But at the moment, I'm not fucking either.

"Call me tonight?" I say. She nods.

Oh, shit. I have a date with Kelly tonight...better turn my phone off.

Ahh, Kelly...wonder what color panties SHE is wearing....wonder if I'll find out...